What A Pisser

Did you notice how I've subtly changed my blog from worthless (but amusing!) content to overtly sexual youtube videos and the occasional comic? I was going to say semi-sexual youtube vids, but they are so not semi. nom nom nom.

But alas, the current situation requires me to update you on critical state of Otis the Elevator. No longer can I hide behind other people's witticisms and sexiness to cover up the lack of mine. But now I can reinvigorate my hobby of using words like: apropos! New fun word: portmanteau.

Poor Otis, his condition has been deteriorating since I first spoke of my daily companion. Unlike choo-choo trains, Otis can't find inspiration from "I think I can." He just falls and dies.

A little while back I strolled in after a satisfying lunch, minding my own business. But then I was jarred from my reverie of tasting the remnants of yumness in my teeth when I noticed the maintenance man conversing on the walkie-talkie (portmanteau!!!) and the security guard with a look of concern on his face.

Our maintenance man is a Popeye-esque kinda guy, complete with a white pant-shirt combo and bulging muscles indicating how his time is spent outside of work. Today he had the two doors of the first car forcibly pried open (probably using his bulging manly man muscles instead of a crow bar) like the legs of his first (and last) lover. The only words I caught when he reached for his walkie-talkie were, "yeah the cars came crashing down again."*****
Before I could even react, I was quickly ushered into the last car by the security guard. ALL.BY.MYSELF.

At this point, I should mention that 1. my imagination is not under control and 2. I do believe in ghosts. Do NOT put me in an elevator BY MYSELF when I hear that the other ones just died. Not only did the car I was put into smell like gasoline, it skipped past floors 3, 5, and 11. Which are probably haunted. Like the elevators. Did you know this building was made in 1912? It's definitely haunted. What a pisser.

*****Otis made skyscrapers possible by using a special mechanism to lock the elevator in place should the hoisting ropes fail.

Ma Vie

By Randall Monroe

Oh Brazil

I don't think this video needs any commentary other than "I think I'm in the wrong country right now"

Little Bro

From ballersingh@...

To: Big Sister

Kaki dede I have guitar hero 2 but no guitar what do i do?

Ballin'