Feelin' a bit old today

Want to relive your undergrad experience? Here you go - an email I sent while in the midst of writing my last Philosophy paper (yes, I was an idiot and chose the most unpractical ever and if you read this email, you realize that somehow the whole "Logic" part of Philosophy never really rubbed off on me). And sadly, not much has changed since I've entered the work force.

Oh, and the topic of the paper? The Philosophy of Happiness.

Hey Jennyfer! I had too much TAB energy drink (there was no Red Bull, and the TAB can was pretty) and not enough food. So I'm probably not medically sober at the moment.

I have 25 pages worth of writing to do by tomorrow. I have sat at the library for four hours doing nothing. BUT I refuse to leave, because that would mean I actually really didn't do anything. But if I happen to at least type a paragraph, I can make myself feel better and then go gorge myself with food, taking 2 hours to eat and justifying it with "well even if I have a paper, I still have to eat." (Correction: 3 papers).

So why am I writing you this email, you ask? Because why not, jen? WHY not?

Progress:

6:45 PM: Have typed name and date on paper

Started paper with Beatles lyrics "Happiness is a warm gun"

in hopes that this will bring a smile to the professor, thus propelling me into a higher grade bracket. Blow job would probably work better, but hey! I have...morals? No wait, I'm a feminist. Yeah, I knew there was a something keeping me from using that option.

6:46 PM: typed my progress to Julia over gchat.

6:50 PM: Started this very email to Jen.

6:51 PM: contemplated checking facebook.
6:52 PM: checked facebook

6:55 PM: wrote on SK's wall in response to the fact that he stole the line "I'm so goth, I shit bats." My response: "i'm so brown, i shit curry." for a moment I thought that was clever. Then I realized I actually do shit curry. Ironic? Not so much.

6:59 PM: Realized anorexia is not for me, even if I want my boobs to get smaller. Am going to go get some dinner.

You can see how my life is going....

Love,

Kam