Gchatz

In reference to this post:

Brown Male #1: thanks for not putting a true picture of me up

me: yeah well
I tried to find a fake picture of Brown Male #2
but when I googled nerdy indian guy

Brown Male #1: but its not possible

me: none of them were nerdy enough

*yes, I am the editor AND the writer. I AM GOD!

How Not to Move Out of a Large US City that Contains the Sears Tower & Several Other Important Buildings

• Do Not get 24-hour access to store your belongings at the downtown Chicago office building of the job you just quit.
  

• Do Not surreptitiously get 24-hour access to the building from the admin* that the Executive Director cannot stand.
  

• Do Not wait until 1am the day of your flight to your new home (Washington, DC) to move your boxes into said building.

• Perhaps rethink your decision to take your two male brown friends (one who looks like this** and one who looks like this . Clearly the second one is an undercover hacker.) to a building in downtown Chicago, near the Sears Tower, at 1 in the morning.

• Perhaps rethink your decision to use your ID card that clearly states what time you were in the building with shady looking friends.

• DO think before propping the door open lest it set off a pesky alarm.

• DO prevent brown male #2 with you from trying to hack the computer system to turn the alarm off.

• DO keep #2 out of the eye of the camera right ABOVE the computer system that is unsuccessful at turning the alarm off (but successful at flashing your picture from your supposed-to-be-deactivated ID badge).

• Perhaps rethink your decision to leave three unmarked boxes into said building at 1 am, after setting the alarm off.

• Definitely have a shady looking hairy Sikh girl in a getaway car nearby.

• Also, remember to hide your one-way ticket to DC when the police come to question you.

• and last one: PRAY with all your might that NOTHING disastrous happens in downtown Chicago the next day.

*curiously, she was fired shortly afterwards
**okay so his beard isn't as big.

Destroying Your Childhood

Shauvik is this crazy Indian who lives in St. Louis and will soon have to leave the States to marry a nice Bengali girl on his parent's goat farm. They will be a joint family, yes yes. He also destroys any concept of goodness I have, starting with my childhood. But at least he makes me laugh while he does it. And now I will proceed to destroy the childhood of whoever reads this blog. Here's a video, courtesy of this crazy foreigner.

Super Tuesday - VOTE BARACK!

BARACK O'BOLLYWOOD

मेरा दिलबर बराक ओबामा

Postgrad Hobbies

Now that I've graduated from college, it's time for me to pursue those hipsteresque hobbies that a soul-sucking university curriculum prevented me from engaging in. Like, knitting! Or rediscovering my long-lost love for art through MS Paint. This work is a series of portraits, inspired by Andy Warhol. The entire piece itself is entitled "Ashu, Stop Fucking Making Shit with MS Paint."

Ashu, Stop Fucking Making Shit with MS Paint

Each portrait is named respectively: "Ashu", "Ashu with Rajasthani mustache", "Ashu on crack", and my personal favorite, "Ashu on crack with Rajasthani mustache."